Grace
by january sunshine
Summary: Alphabet Series, Fic G. Vexen struggles to win a losing battle against the Organization member with the grace and poise he envies.


G of the _Kingdom Hearts Alphabet Series_. Hope you guys like it.

Time started: 2:12 AM.

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Grace

By Darkness Princess

.11.4.

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He walked with a certain skill I could only see coming from him. Calm and dignified, yet with that air of haughtiness which just about killed me every time. I had, at first, admired his will and, on numerous occasions, found myself merely watching him, wondering how he managed to strut about the castle with that pretentious air and yet not feel bothered by anyone, and how I, seven members his superior, barely managed any aura of respect.

It bothered me.

_He _bothered me. How he could calmly walk down the halls of the castle and took charge of anything and everything. Well, _almost _everything. 

I wouldn't dare let him in my laboratories.

* * *

Rose petals littered the floor one afternoon. He had been in this room recently, I could tell, by the fact that they always danced about when he was around, and seemed to vanish when he wasn't. He was standing in a hall—one I rarely visited, otherwise I would've allowed myself to remember the name—when I walked in, pondering idly. 

"Number XI, what are you doing?" I inquired of him immediately.

Suspicion. I didn't trust him. Xigbar brought him in early morning, and I could remember watching him clutch a rose tightly in one fist, thorns pressing against his skin, yet the thorns didn't break. He didn't look scared when I examined him; instead, he looked rather distant, thoughtful despite his exhaustion and confusion. He had listened quietly to the Superior, thanked Xigbar for finding him, and drank the potions given.

Yet he gave me a look… and I knew there was something about him I disliked. Any time I tried speaking with him, I could feel him turning the conversation, until finally I would be incapable of argument and he would smirk triumphantly at me and saunter down the a portal made by the dainty flick of a wrist.

Oh, how I _loathed _him. He already had Number VIII listening to his talks and, already on good terms with the Superior, Xigbar, and sometimes the disastrous number VII, he was already working his way about the castle.

I would not be swayed by whatever sort of charm he pretended he had.

He turned to me in the hallway, pale blue eyes turning to stare at me in the kindest of ways. Hah, kindness. An emotion which didn't exist, which he knew didn't exist—that meant he was definitely lying, or planning to. My eyes narrowed.

"What is it, Vexen?" he asked.

His voice almost dripped imaginary venom. He wasn't unhappy with me in the least; he was being smart. He knew I couldn't tolerate his stuck-up attitude of his and chose to display it to upset me.

I glared. "You're planning something."

A brief glance of mock-innocence formed on his features before he let it vanish. "Whatever do you mean, Vex—"

"You're not permitted to call me that!" I interrupted quickly. "I am your superior, and I demand to be treated as such."

His eyes turned upward and he summed a rose to his fingers, a hand swooshing to leave a small trail of petals. He smiled. "Whatever you say, _Vexen_."

As I summoned my shield to my hand, he gave me a slight wave and stepped through a portal. I returned to my laboratories, as I often did. In times of need, times of desperation, times of sheer enjoyment and relaxation, I would retreat to the four laboratories. Technically, the first laboratory did not belong to me—the Superior left it for all those working on research to use when necessary—but all of them were mine. The second one was designed as a hospital setting, for those injured on missions or in battle, sometimes even for some odd sort of illness or psychiatric disorder—namely Zexion, who chose to treat himself to a small batch of experimental drugs I had started when I was known as Even. The third was feared by all other members, designated for Heartless torture and experimentation; only the Superior and Lexaeus would dare enter, due to the smell of nostalgia and torture which lingered. The fourth was just mine, for whatever I wished to do.

I had gone into Laboratory Three, to find a Soldier Heartless jumping about in his cage. He twitched so erratically that I found myself laughing in amusement, listening as the metal of his armor clanked against the metal of my cages. He would struggle and grab at the bars, and I would watch, notebook open on a nearby desk with a pencil lying next to it. If it were to do something interesting, I would immediately write it down.

So far, nothing, just these shaky, confusing movements as the creature tried to escape his cage. I had moved to sit next to the cage, watching as the beast wriggled about. He soon moved back, movements slow and calm, and I leaned forward, staring into glowing eyes beneath the awkward helmet. And it attacked me. It quickly jumped forward, arm stretching between the bars of the cage, claws scratching my face.

I quickly jumped backward, left hand clutching my cheek as I hurried to the notebook.

_Subject: Soldier_, I wrote. _Subject is irate and twitches in hopes of escape. Movements are jittery and spastic. It calms at random when it finally locates a threat, moves back for a moment, then attacks without warning. Attack is sudden and jerky, seemingly with no known plan in mind, unlike Mar_— 

I stopped myself.

I had just… I had been writing his name.

Him. The one I detested with such a passion, and yet I wrote his name in my scientific journal. I felt as if my eyes had bored a hole into the paper as I glared, wondering how and why he had appeared in my mind.

He was nothing like the Soldier. It was confused and it struggled. He didn't.

I had to wonder why I had even written such a thing, only to be disrupted at the knock upon the laboratory door. The others wouldn't enter, I knew for certain, and I sent my glare, along with a small shout, "State your purpose!"

"Vex, been in the dark too long, eh, buddy?"

It was Xigbar. I grumbled and quickly shut the notebook, leaving it on the desk as I portaled outside the door. "What do you want?" I snapped.

Xigbar gave me a friendly smile, though he did take a step back as a precaution. Though his guns were quick, only transferring himself to a different gravitational center would save him from a smack in the face with my shield, had I felt need to draw it.

"Icy, dude," he commented idly. "You need to get out of there more. What? Do you like harming the poor little creatures?"

"Shouldn't you be teasing Zexion over his height?" I inquired. Xigbar, as one of the taller members, could always find enjoyment in cracking short jokes on Number VI. Sometimes I pitied the smaller boy, but at this moment, Zexion made a worthy sacrifice.

Xigbar flicked my nose, and I swatted his finger. "Come on, Vex!" he said. "You need to have more fun… you're starting to look like an old man. Even the Superior has fun!"

"That's because his idea of fun is thinking about hearts," I answered. Xemnas was fascinated—no, obsessed—with hearts, and he always seemed to enjoy himself when he could bury his nose in any written material focused on them.

Xigbar had no argument. Instead, he smirked. "Your new boyfriend's asking about you."

Startled and confused, my cheeks pinkened, eyes rounding into orbs as I stared at him. "Wha—what do you mean?" I asked quickly. "Boyfriend? _Who_?" It didn't make sense, for I had no close relationships with any of the organization members, minus Zexion and Lexaeus whom I considered brothers. To think that another member out there considered himself partnered with me in anything other than work was confusing, and embarrassing.

Xigbar's smirk grew cruelly, and his good eye twinkled joyously at me. "So I'm right, huh? You're doin' naughty things with the new kid!"

Oh. Him. The one who walked with such dignity and pride managed to kill mine and I wasn't even near him. I stumbled backwards, feeling the door against me, forcing me to stay, yet my blush darkened and my eyes narrowed. "I hate him," I said coldly.

"You do, do you?"

I had expected Xigbar to speak, for his mouth had opened and words had begun to form, but instead, a voice to my left told me that the one I loathed had portaled next to me. He gave me a cruel smile as he came near.

"Give us a minute, would you, Xigbar?" he asked.

Xigbar pat his shoulder with a smile. "Sure thing, kid." And he was gone quickly, leaving me with this despicable thing standing in front of me.

I almost hit him. I wanted to. My hands had balled into fists, nails digging into my palm, and my eyes were narrowed so much I wasn't even sure I was seeing _him_. I was seeing flames around him, or… something.

A Sakura petal fell onto my shoulder and I opened my eyes a little, only to realize how close he had come. His petals had begun raining upon me, soft pink curls brushing against my cheek as he came closer. My eyes widened.

His lips were less than an inch from mine!

I was too startled to move, watching his eyes—that calm, pale sapphire which seemed so shallow, yet I knew they were hiding. He wasn't shallow; he was manipulative.

I wasn't going to let him get to me. I couldn't. I didn't like him, and this couldn't make me change my mind. My head turned away, a pout forming—somewhat stubbornly, which confused me—as he made a small noise and pressed his lips against my cheek. His lips were warm, and soft… they traveled in the form of tiny kisses across my cheek, one gloved hand finding my other cheek to guide me to face him.

It wasn't getting to me; it wasn't getting to me…

It couldn't be getting to me.

I couldn't let it get to me.

And yet, as his lips found mine, I returned the kiss. His lips were so smooth and skilled, pressing against mine, pulling in… he nibble on my bottom lip as his hand slid across my chest, fingers tangling in the chain. He pulled me close, and my hands almost stretched up to grab onto him, but I resisted.

Then he jerked me from him and shoved me against the door, and my eyes closed as I allowed myself to wince. My hand slipped and hit the door's electric button, and it slid open behind me. I promptly began falling backward.

He said something to me before he walked away.

I think it might've been "I'll see you later." I don't know what he said.

I just know my hate intensified as I fell upon the bloodied concrete floor of Laboratory Three. Grumbling, I opened the cage of that edgy little heartless and yanked him from his little prison, only to strap him to a table. He attempted to claw at me and managed a few times, actually getting through the fabric of my coat once or twice, but I ignored it.

Instead, I tested until the early hours of the morning.

**

* * *

**

There was an intruder. The scent of lavenders assaulted my nose as I aroused, covered in the blood I was accustomed to. I had killed the Soldier; it had reacted badly to my testing and I put it out of its misery… slowly. That didn't explain the smell which had formed, or the gentle hand stroking my cheek.

"Vexen! Vexen, wake up!"

My eyes fluttered open to find him kneeling in front of me. He had taken off his gloves and had been touching my stained cheek with his slender hand, fingers skillfully traveling across my wound from earlier.

"You never healed this," he said softly. "And you've got more… potion for these, right?"

I blinked. This was confusing. The man who had slammed me against the door of my laboratory, who had kissed me without warning, who teased and taunted and feigned innocence in the most pompous of ways, was in front of me, a worried look on his face.

Worried. Hah. Another emotion that didn't exist.

I couldn't help but nod to him, groaning as I shifted. I could remember sinking to the floor after I destroyed the Soldier and watched as the corrupted heart it carried dissipated before I could touch it. I sat with my knees drawn to my chest, hands shaking at the power I felt. The power of destruction… it was amazing, yet tremendously alarming at the same time. I could remember staring at my boots, watching as blood from my hair dripped onto my clad toes, and I shut my eyes for a five-minute rest. I had become stiff sitting that way, though the pain would leave shortly.

The Nobody in front of me shifted my hair from my face, looking at me calmly. "You were hurt… is that why you were sitting here? You should've gone for help!"

I rolled my eyes and looked at the new one in front of me. "Ridiculous, Number XI. As the one most qualified, I take position as the doctor of this Organization. You should already know this."

He frowned and hands roughly brushed against my cheek. A light slap… I glared, but he had already stood. "Where are your potions?" he asked me.

Without even waiting for an answer, delicate movements headed to a shelf of potions, some experimental mixes of chemicals and other potions, others normal and calm blends. He found one and quickly brought it back to me, pulling open the cork immediately. "Here, drink it," he said.

I calmly pushed his hand away. "Number XI, return that to my shelf. I'm not going to waste a potion when it can be used for someone who needs it."

"But _you _need it, Vexen!" he insisted, moving it closer to my face.

I promptly turned my head away, nose held in the air as I caught his lavender whiff and an uncomfortable odor of blood. "Go away. I don't know why you're in my laboratory. Had I let loose a different heartless, you would've been positively killed—"

"You think that lowly of me?" my subordinate interrupted. "And here I was, actually feeling apologetic for pushing you."

That was right. He had shoved me down here. He had roughly pushed me down… after that kiss.

"You're bizarre," I said quickly, knocking the potion from his hands. It crashed onto the floor, contents spilling. "I don't like you."

"That's not what you said." He shifted closer, his chest pressed against mine as his body began to slide against me. I immediately regretted stretching my legs, especially as he straddled me, hands holding mine to the floor. He nibbled at my bottom lip, and his body slid against mine.

I let out an involuntary moan, looking up. "S-stop," I tried to whisper. It wouldn't form fully.

Yet, oddly, he stopped, sliding down sensually to kiss my neck. I grumbled, trying to move him from me, but that quickly brought him back to my face, eyes locking with mine as he almost seized my lips again. He smirked.

And immediately, a flooding feeling formed inside, and I could feel the numbed pain from my wounds intensifying and quickly subsiding as they healed. Marluxia smirked.

"I _was _going to tell you I was sorry," he whispered. "For pushing you in here… Xaldin had turned the corner. But you became self-destructive—"

"I am not self-destr—"

"—and then you were mean to me—"

"—_how_?"

"—and now you have to be subdued into accepting help!"

"_What _are you babbling about?" I asked quickly. Oddly, I was breathless, my heart pounding into my chest. He had been talking, moving, kissing, and then the exhilarating feeling, and I couldn't understand what he meant.

He slid from me and another smirk formed. "When you find out, look for me," he said. He stood and slowly turned, a trail of rose petals decorating my floor as he headed towards the exit.

He was leaving.

And for some reason, I jumped, eyes widening. "Marluxia!"

He paused for a brief second then continued walking, only stopping again when he reached the door. Glancing over his shoulder, he gave a gentle smile. "You know… that's the first time you've said my name, Vexen…"

It… it was.

I had been intent on disliking him, and set on greeting him by his number only, and yet… I slipped up.

He let the door shut calmly behind him and I could hear his footsteps traveling across the hallway floors. I still sat there, eyes staring at my door, covered in blood with trembling hands. He wasn't coming back any time soon, I knew, but I didn't think I could move. When I finally did, I tripped and almost slid into the spilled potion.

That was when I realized that his grace somehow turned me into a bumbling idiot whenever he came around. To be honest, at this point, I wanted to hurt him. Instead, I sighed softly, and a soft chuckle escaped my lips.

I opened the notebook and picked up the pen. Though dark blood smudged the page as I wrote, I finished where I started.

_L-U-X-I-A_. Then…

Update: Experimental test 011 was too strong for the Subject. It put up a weak struggle before it finally succumbed to its fate.

I then stared at the number of my test chemical and at the door and wondered if that could be considered fate.

If it could, then…

"Oh, how I _loathe _him," I whispered, though my words held no venom at all.

* * *

.O.W.A.R.I.

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Time finished: 4:04 AM.

If anything's kinda confusing, it's because this was written during my "I'm off the internet so I shall do something of use!" phase in the morning. I've been meaning to write it.

It was originally supposed to be "Geranium" but I could think of nothing for that, so instead, this appeared. I almost went with the Trigun meaning, of determination, but I didn't know for certain, so I stuck with grace.

Please review, and please definitely review if you fav it! Tell me what you liked, or disliked (but please don't day "I hated Vexen because he's old and has a raping hand." I mean, it's so true, but come on, people, that's his twitchy hand!). T'would make me feel very less depressed if ya do!

:Darkness Princess.


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